Last night, I finally came to the realization that my husband and I are hoarders. Not quite like the ones you see on the television shows though. But, given the chance (i.e if we had no kids) we could probably get that bad. I like to think my husband is worse than I am. And it's true. He was way more stuff than I do. We have 3 decent sized closets in our trailer. Only one is semi usable. And that is in Tori's room. Her closet is pretty messy, but for the most part, it's her stuff. The things that used to be in there? That was moved over to another closet.
My bedroom is the messiest of the whole trailer. This morning I tripped trying to get to the bathroom. When I fell I landed into a pile of clothes, and a taken-apart gun of some sort. I have a nice sized bruise from that. But, the tripping didn't end. Once I reached the master bathroom door, I had troubles getting in. And once again tripped INTO the bathroom. The door is on James' side of the bed. His clutter is so bad, that it's spilled into the entire room, with the exception of my side of the bed.
On my side, yes it's cluttered. Against the wall. I have a card table that has craft stuff stacked on it. Underneath is about 3 large diaper boxes filled with more misc. craft things and random stuff. I tell myself it's ok because hey, it is out of the way. Truth be told, I haven't touched most of that stuff in over 6 months. Main reason being I just have no where to put it. No where to really work on crafts because James has so much stuff thrown about the trailer. If I had a craft station that was accessible, I would be using these things weekly, if not daily.
I decided to get a start on cleaning up the bedroom once again. And broke down in tears. I started at the bedroom door with the intention of working up to the closet door. Plan was to stack things in there to tackle later. I know, bad plan. I shouldn't be hiding our clutter. But for now, that's what I was going to do. Once I reached the closet I felt good. And then just lost it. I opened the closet door only to discover James had already filled it. Wall to wall. Floor to ceiling. There's one opening to fit maybe one box. I couldn't believe it. So now, I have a stack of things I intended to store away to sort better later (summer clothes, misc boxes of things, and hunting gear that isn't being used), and no where to put it. I suppose it's all being stacked in front of the closet door. The whole purpose of clearing that area was so we could get into the closet. But seeing that it's stacked so full, doesn't matter if we can access it or not.
I should also mention that there was a huge stack of clothes in front of the closet. James' dresser is positioned over there. Why were the clothes on the floor? Simple, he can't fit them into the dresser so he just made a stack. I had a hard time telling what was clean and what was dirty. Things I thought were dirty went into a hamper (along with clothes I didn't want to sniff to check) and clothes I knew were clean were tossed onto the bed. You can't see the bed anymore. Again, another lost cause. No other place to put his clothes, so I'm sure they'll end up on the floor again. A lot of it he can't fit, yet he's too lazy to sort them out.
I'm not sure what my next step will be. But sadly, I have to find a way to finish the bedroom before he gets home. If not, then the things I want him to sort will never be sorted, just tossed back to the floor. I have an empty storage bin, well sorta. Currently it's holding the overflow of dirty laundry. Once I empty that (I'm washing laundry as I attempt to de-clutter), I will mostly likely add his overflow of clean clothing into it. At least this way they are in one spot, not scattered. I'm going to find a way to clean up the bedroom.
I'm looking forward to June. My mom is coming up to help. And it's already been decided James is not allowed in the house while we sort. More will get done if he doesn't see what is being tossed. He actually confessed last night that he has things in boxes he knows he would use. But he couldn't tell you what those "things" are, or which box it is. He just knows he wants what he has the boxes, that's why it's still in boxes. I can't take this type of living for much longer. I want this trailer to feel like a home. I want it too look and feel inviting. I'm tired of tripping. Tired of squeezing through things. Tired of moving something to get into one area only to have to move it back again. I'm tried of feeling so low and disgusted with my own "home". There's just too much to be done alone. It's too overwhelming. Even thinking about it is difficult. But, I do try. I try my hardest to just tackle it head first, alone.
Wonder if I can get on that show "Hoarders". Get me a small cleaning crew and we could have it done in one day! Maybe two. Might have to spend day one just sorting it out, and day two figuring out how to organize it.
Oh well. this is life. But, not one I'm comfortable in. I want to feel clean.
Signed,
Super Mom
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