Well, I finally did it. I made myself a doctor's appointment. And it wasn't a specialist. The last time I went to the spine surgeon he told me I needed to get a PCP if I wanted to continue using pain medicines. That was back in January. Two months later, and I finally made the call. Of course, I only did because I ran out of pain meds. But hey, it was done.
Overall, I think the appointment went well. Though I did have a moment of silent panic. I was afraid he wasn't going to give me anything. Even though in my medical records (sent from the spine surgeon) it said it would be good for me to continue using narcotics with my normal minimal use. The PCP started giving me a long lecture on narcotic use and why doctors are not giving them out so easily. And he made a strong point to tell me it's not something he likes to do. I listened to what he had to say and told him I understood his point. I also told him I was willing to try non-narcotics, I just wanted relief.
We also discussed my insomnia. Remember my "popcorn kernel" post? My brain is just too frazzled to sleep at night.
In the end, I got some medicine. He gave me a 2 month supply of Vicodin (60 pills, that's plenty) and Neurontin to use for long term management. He did say it was going to be a trial with the Neurontin, but I'm willing to give it a try. Personally I'd rather take a non-narcotic even if it means taking it several times a day. I don't have any bad side effects from narcotics, but you just never know when one might sneak up on you. And I don't want to become addicted. So, fingers crossed it works!
He also gave me Trazodone to help me sleep. Again, a trial thing. He said it may or may not work. And again, I'm willing to try anything.
The side effects of the two new medicines kind of scare me. Suicidal actions, major mood and behavior changes, nerve pain, insomnia (haha go figure right?), nightmares. I realize these are just possible side effects and not everyone experiences them. But it's still rather scary to think about. So I'm going to make sure James knows to keep an eye out for those things, just in case I don't notice them.
That's about it for now. Zoe is barking to go outside and the kids are crabbing. Pretty sure they want some dinner. An aspect of the day that hasn't even crossed my mind yet. So I have to figure out what to feed them. I'm exhausted. I just want to grab my book and crawl into bed. I did a lot of cleaning today. And then going to the doctor and walking around Walmart waiting for my prescriptions. It took a lot of out me. My back really hurts, but I'm holding off on the pain meds. I want to see if I can just skip it tonight. I figure if I can manage 3 more hours then I should be good. I'm hoping the Trazodone helps me just sleep through it. Don't they say sleep is a good medicine?
Signed,
Super Mom
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