Five People

Throughout our lives we meet so many people.  Some are only in passing.  You talk with a stranger on the bus. Soothe the worried mom in the emergency room.  Some change your day, some change your life.  Today, I'm going to list five people who changed my life in a good way.

1.  Mrs. Ronda Modglin.  She was my sixth and seventh grade math teacher.  She was a very caring woman.  The type of teacher you trusted and always felt comfortable about.  She is top on my list.  She changed my life dramatically.  In the seventh grade she noticed a downfall in my math skills.  I was very good back then, I loved math.  So one day she pulled me to the side and told me to spill the beans.  And I did.  Through all the tears and sobbing, she listened.  And when I was done, she just held me.  The way a mother holds her child when they are sick or sad.  It felt so good.  As a result of that day, I was removed from my birth father's home and placed with my birth mother.  I had felt like life was over before that day.  Because of her, I kept moving forward.

2.  Mrs. Gough.  She was my 8th grade computer class teacher.  Similar to my math teacher in every way.  A woman, teacher, you felt comfortable spilling your guts too.  So when she pulled me to the side, that's what I did, again.  I told her of the various abuse I had going on at home.  I showed her the cuts I had covering my arms.  It didn't take long for her to make some calls.  Through this transition of waiting for police to show up, being moved from place to place, she followed me.  When we were in the car, she held my hand.  When we were waiting in some random office, she kept her arms protectively wrapped around me.  Again, another amazing teacher that saved my life.

3.  Cari Parker.  This is my mom.  No, not the woman that gave birth to me.  I was adopted when I was 16.  She took me in with no questions.  She knew I was a troubled teen, but she saw potential in me that no one else would take the time to see.  Cari didn't see me as a piece of garbage to throw out.  I love my mom with my everything.  I dread the day she will no longer be there for me.  I don't even want to think of life without her here.

4.  The nurse that taught me to breastfeed.  I know that probably sounds strange.  When I was pregnant with Josie, I wasn't sure if I would breastfeed or not.  It looked like a natural thing to do, but also seemed a little weird.  When it came time to have Josie, I decided to give it a try.  The nurse brought her to me and showed me several positions.  She also showed me how to use those positions without the side rails up (after all, my bed doesn't have those and the football hold isn't that easy without that extra support lol).  She gave me all sorts of tips and advice.  Printed out materials for me and went over everything.  She even posted a sign in my room and on the door that said "This Momma breastfeeds.  No pacifiers, no sugar water.  If it ain't the boob, keep it away.".  I still laugh today thinking back to those signs.  But I'm very thankful for her and the signs.  When I was exhausted, she helped me through it.

Because of that great experience, when I became pregnant with the twins, I knew I could handle the challenge. Little did I know, I would have tons of difficulties.  Things didn't work out as planned with the twins.  And I didn't have a good support team at home or at the hospital.  But, I gave it my all.  I had to give them formula, but it wasn't from lack of trying.  If I have any more kids in the future, breastfeeding will still be my number one choice.

5.  And finally, my little brother Donny.  He was also adopted, but as a baby.  Donny was born 8 1/2 weeks premature, cocaine addicted, has fetal alcohol syndrome and spina bifida.  Doctor after doctor said he was a lost cause.  Donny would never walk.  Never talk.  Never feed himself, go to the bathroom.  Be able to run and play with other kids.  He proved them all wrong.  Yes, Donny has some issues today, but NOTHING like the doctors predicted.  He runs, jumps, skips, swims, hops and plays just like any other little boy with zero problem.  He feeds himself, dresses himself, ties his own shoes.  And if you wanted too, he can sit for hours talking about anything and everything.  His speech isn't always clear, but you can definitely understand what he says without a struggle.  He can control his bladder, but not his bowels.  Donny doesn't let that stop him from being a happy kid.  He has taught me that life is worth living.  That no problem is worth moping around about.  That no matter what life throws at you, ALWAYS make strawberry milk (his philosophy haha).

There are many other important people in my life.  And a few people I've met along the way that aren't in my life that I still value greatly.  I could probably go on and on with a never ending list.  But for today, I wanted to share with you all my top 5 and the reasons why.

Signed,
Super Mom

Misery is Missing Company

I'm beginning to live my life in misery.  The Neurontin isn't doing much to help me.  My "good" days have been better, but not more frequent.  The ratio is generally 10 good, 20 bad of 30 days.  I still only have "10 good".  Only difference is instead of my pain level being around 6, it's at about 4.  My bad days continue to sit at 8 or 9.  Of course the good/bad days fluctuate from week to week.  Just because I went one month with 10 good days doesn't mean next month will be the same.  I could get lucky and have more good days, or, misery can join me and my good days could be less.

I went to the doctor for my one month follow up.  I detest this guy.  He has things so strict that I have no choice but to suffer through the near crippling pain.  He wrote me a prescription for 60 Vicodin, to last 60 days.  He told me he wouldn't refill it before then.  But I'm also not allowed to get pain meds anywhere else.  If I do, then he will "black list" me, making it difficult to find a doctor that will prescribe them.  This past month was TERRIBLE.  I went through 46 of those 60 pills.  I had 3 days in there where I thought for sure my right ovary exploded.  The pain was intense enough I wanted to go to the ER.  The only reason I didn't was because I had no one to watch the twins.....

....and the doctor would black list me.

I was going to see my GYNO about it.  But I didn't....

....because the PCP would black list me.  If I had seen my GYNO he would have Rx'ed pain medication.  He understands that I do have pain.  He's also aware that I could potentially take what he prescribes for something else (the back pain).

I try my best to make them stretch.  I take Midol, Aleve, Advil, Excedrin....and all their generics.  At best my pain level *might* go down one notch.  Generally I have to take 4 at a time.  Personally I think it's ridiculous to expect a person living with chronic pain to only take one Vicodin a day.  Most days I want to take 6 or more.  The only reason I don't though is my fear of running out.  Because once I'm out, that's it.  I have to wait until the 2 months is up before this jackass PCP will refill it.

So, tonight I'm down to 11 pills left.  My next appointment isn't until May 29th.  There's no way I can make it last that long.  Tomorrow I'm going to look up some more doctors and make a list.  And dang it, I'm going into interview mode.  I don't care what they think of me.  If they want to think I'm just a drug seeker then it's off to the next doctor.  I'm bound to find someone who is willing to listen and care about my situation.  Someone who understands I'd rather have enough medication to take at least 3 a day.  I don't need them every day.  I am able to skip a day or two.  Usually once I return to my bad day, I'm taking the pills I skipped on my good days.

Just ugh!!  I'm sick of being in pain and finding no relief or understanding from the doctors!!!!

Signed,
Super Mom

When the World Spins

Well it's day 2 of the Neurontin.  I started it yesterday, but only took 2 doses instead of 3.  It was late afternoon when I got the prescription and it said not to take two doses at once.

Last night I just felt funny.  Almost as though I was drunk.  And that was with just the first dose I took.  And it made me drowsy.  I started falling asleep while trying to read.  I figured me being tired already was playing a major role in that.  But today I'm not so sure.

I took the first dose around 9am, and an hour later my mom could tell a difference.  And we were just talking on the phone, she wasn't even here with me (not that she could be, she lives 4 hours away haha).  She said I was starting to talk faster and some of my words were jumbled.  Which I also noticed but didn't really pay attention too.  Now it's several hours later and I'm noticing more.  I'm really tired.  I feel weak.  Such as, I need to fold laundry.  But I can't lift the basket to get it to the room I need.  I mean, I could, but I just feel too weak to bother trying.  I'd rather just leave my arms relaxed.

I'm also feeling a little clumsy.  I keep fumbling over the small things I am picking up.  I can't walk straight, seem to be tripping over my own feet again haha.  This really isn't good considering I have kids to take care of.  I want to be fully functional.  Or at least not feeling clumsy and weak.

I just feel REALLY relaxed.  I could totally drift off to lala land if I would allow myself.  I've also got this weird tingling feeling in my mouth.  I don't know if it's related to the medicine or not, but figure I might as well mention it.  Keep track of how I'm feeling.

I'm texting a friend right now.  And wow it's so not easy.  I keep fumbling over the keys, something I never do. Same thing is happening as I type.  I'm by no means a speed typer, but I am known for going rather quickly.  Drives James nuts to hear the constant click of my keyboard because of how fast I type.  But I'm finding myself using the backspace button quite a bit right now.

I'm really not sure how long I should put up with the side effects before telling myself it's just not worth it.  I know for some people the side effects are temporary.  But how long do they last if it's just temporary?  A month?  A week?  Several months?  I think I'll give it two weeks.  Unless of course the side effects get worse.  I really want to go read but this medicine has me too unfocused to do that.  So I'll try to eat some food (really doesn't feel like I have the energy to lift a fork to my mouth and actually chew.  That's bad haha).  After I attempt lunch I'll try for a nap.  Twins aren't asleep yet so I'm not wasting time.  Maybe by the time I'm ready to lie down they'll be asleep.  They are in bed for a nap.

Well, I'm off.  I'll be back later if things seem worse or different.  I did just take dose number two.  I'm thinking pizza for dinner tonight.  Either that or James will have to cook.  I don't think I'll be able to do it.

Signed,
Super Mom

Doctor, Doctor!

Well, I finally did it.  I made myself a doctor's appointment.  And it wasn't a specialist.  The last time I went to the spine surgeon he told me I needed to get a PCP if I wanted to continue using pain medicines.  That was back in January.  Two months later, and I finally made the call.  Of course, I only did because I ran out of pain meds.  But hey, it was done.

Overall, I think the appointment went well.  Though I did have a moment of silent panic.  I was afraid he wasn't going to give me anything.  Even though in my medical records (sent from the spine surgeon) it said it would be good for me to continue using narcotics with my normal minimal use.  The PCP started giving me a long lecture on narcotic use and why doctors are not giving them out so easily.  And he made a strong point to tell me it's not something he likes to do.  I listened to what he had to say and told him I understood his point.  I also told him I was willing to try non-narcotics, I just wanted relief.

We also discussed my insomnia.  Remember my "popcorn kernel" post?  My brain is just too frazzled to sleep at night.

In the end, I got some medicine.  He gave me a 2 month supply of Vicodin (60 pills, that's plenty) and Neurontin to use for long term management.  He did say it was going to be a trial with the Neurontin, but I'm willing to give it a try.  Personally I'd rather take a non-narcotic even if it means taking it several times a day.  I don't have any bad side effects from narcotics, but you just never know when one might sneak up on you.  And I don't want to become addicted.  So, fingers crossed it works!

He also gave me Trazodone to help me sleep.  Again, a trial thing.  He said it may or may not work.  And again, I'm willing to try anything.

The side effects of the two new medicines kind of scare me.  Suicidal actions, major mood and behavior changes, nerve pain, insomnia (haha go figure right?), nightmares.  I realize these are just possible side effects and not everyone experiences them.  But it's still rather scary to think about.  So I'm going to make sure James knows to keep an eye out for those things, just in case I don't notice them.

That's about it for now.  Zoe is barking to go outside and the kids are crabbing.  Pretty sure they want some dinner.  An aspect of the day that hasn't even crossed my mind yet.  So I have to figure out what to feed them.  I'm exhausted.  I just want to grab my book and crawl into bed.  I did a lot of cleaning today.  And then going to the doctor and walking around Walmart waiting for my prescriptions.  It took a lot of out me.  My back really hurts, but I'm holding off on the pain meds.  I want to see if I can just skip it tonight.  I figure if I can manage 3 more hours then I should be good.  I'm hoping the Trazodone helps me just sleep through it.  Don't they say sleep is a good medicine?

Signed,
Super Mom

Meet Zoe

So it's been a couple weeks since I've been back to post.  I always mean to do it, I just become distracted.  Which happens very easily.  Tonight, I want to take a moment to introduce the newest family member, Zoe.

My darling husband brought her home March 2nd.  Apparently I can't let him out of my sight.  We had discussed getting a new dog, but we weren't dead set on getting one right away.  Or so I thought.  Just like I thought we agreed no more PUPPIES, and that we would adopt from our local animal shelter.

That didn't go as planned, at all.  James found a woman giving her away at the back end of our local Walmart parking lot.  He had just dropped me off to go grocery shopping.  We seen her, I joked and said "well give me a call if I need to add puppy food to the list".  Apparently he took me seriously because 20 minutes later he sent me a picture message and requested puppy stuffs.

He was told Zoe was about 7 weeks old.  I'm not sure if I agree with that.  Hard to explain, but I almost think she's a tad younger.  It's all in her teeth.  They just don't feel that strong.  She still can't manage solid hard food well, I have to add water to soften it for her.

Zoe (pronounced like Zoey) is very lovable.  She gets along with everyone, kids and cats included.  Well, mostly.  She doesn't seem to "like" the girls very well, but loves me.  She is in no way aggressive.  However, if Tori or Josie try to pet her, Zoe takes off running all the while she's whining also.  I took her to the neighbor's house for an introduction.  Again, when their 4 year old daughter reached to pet her, Zoe began to yelp and whine.  At Josie's birthday party, she did the same if any of the girls tried to pet her.  If she noticed a little girl coming towards her she would saunter off with her tail tucked.  I'm not sure the reason.  Neither of my girls have hurt her, not even on accident.

That first day we had her, she spent most her time following James.  If he was outside, she would sleep near my feet.  But the moment she heard him enter the house she was on his toes.  That changed by the end of the night.  Now she follows me everywhere.  And if she can't see me, she will whine.  The other day I was taking Laney out (our other dog, I'll introduce her in another post), I could hear Zoe whining inside.  When I came back in, there she was, sitting at the door waiting for me.

Zoe does have a bad habit I don't like at all.  Ok several, but most are just puppy things (such as chewing on things she shouldn't).  It appears Zoe pees when she's excited.  We put our dogs in crates at night, not together but in their own.  Every morning when I let her out, she's super excited.  Jumps all over the place.  And pees while at it.  When I first noticed it I thought perhaps she just really had to go.  Until later that afternoon.  I had taken a nap without her.  So when she seen me again, she was super excited.  And of course peed.  If I pick her up right after letting her out of her crate, she still goes, while suspended in air (I've learned to hold her away from me first thing in the morning).  She'll still potty once you get her outside.  I'm really hoping this is just a puppy thing and she doesn't continue this.  Though I have met some "adult" dogs (not old, just no longer puppies) that do this same thing.

While we may not have adopted Zoe from the animal shelter, she's still a definite keeper.  According to the person James acquired her from, the previous owner left her behind (something about the Parking Lot Woman's neighbor had a dog who had puppies.  They couldn't find a home for Zoe before moving, so they just left her behind.  Parking Lot Woman found her running into the street and took her in to try and rehome her).  So I suppose in the end, we did still end up rescuing a dog.  I still had high hopes of getting an older dog (a dog that was 2+ years old).  Puppies are easy to find homes for, but many older dogs aren't as lucky.

So there you have it.  Our newest family member.  She still needs to visit the vet.  And I'm thinking we'll try to do that this weekend.  I'm pretty sure our vet's office is open on Saturdays.  I'll have to double check that.  If they aren't, then there is a day they are open later in the evening (I know it's one of those, but can't remember which).

Signed,

Super Mom

Never Too Early

I am thrilled to have such avid readers at an early age.  Reading is very important no matter your age.  I firmly believe it is something that should begin at birth.  No, I don't mean your child should learn to read the moment he/she is born.  But I do believe it is important that YOU read to them.  It can be anything.  No one says you have to read nursery rhymes.  When Josie was a baby, I read recipes out loud to her.  As she got older, I boxes and instructions.  Eventually we added in children's books.

This is Miles.  He is thoroughly enjoying a book by Dr. Seuss.  I'm really not sure which one.  But he didn't want to give it up.  And he was even more thrilled with the book when Daddy sat next to him and read it.  This seems to be the only activity he'll be still for any length of time.

Emmit was reading Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  I have no clue who the author is.  I'm pretty sure this book came from some military collection that James brought home from work.  Either way, it's Emmit's favorite book.

Anyone else think he has some big feet?  I love the way his feet stick out above that giant book.

Josie happens to be reading Purplicious.  From the series Pinkalicious.  I'm probably spelling those wrong, but anyone wild a child that loves that character knows what I'm talking about.  Josie has a strong love for reading books.  She can't fully read on her own yet.  But she sure tries.  Her teacher has the class working on the Book-It Program.  For February she was required to read a total of 145 minutes.  Which worked out to 5 minutes a night, including weekends.  Josie's total minutes read for the month was 265.  And that wasn't counting them all.  I had read to her last night, then marked it on the sheet.  Later, her dad spent another 15 minutes reading to her and tonight we read for 10 more minutes.  All unaccounted for.  We never added up the weekend reading.  I always forgot.

I love that my children enjoy to read.  And I'm really hoping the twins will continue to enjoy it as they get older.

Speaking of reading, I'm off to do that myself.  I forgot how much fun it is to just sit and a read a book!  I finished one today that I started last night.  Tomorrow I'll write up a review about it for you all.  Just be warned, it was an autobiography.  Totally worth a read too.  Stay tuned to find out what book I read!

Signed,
Super Mom

DIY Hair Detangler

Hair detangler, such a popular product in most homes.  From lower class to upper class, chances are you'll find some version of the stuff.  And if you're a mom, you definitely keep plenty in stock.

But this stuff can be expensive!  So I decided it's time to make my own (OK I decided this a long time ago haha).  And here's how I do it--

Materials Needed**--

Small Spray Bottle (can be purchased from dollar store, Walmart has them in the cosmetics deparment)
1/8 cup hair conditioner
1 cup HOT water
2 TSP vinegar

Directions--

Combine hot water, vinegar and conditioner in your spray bottle, shake well.  I'd say about 2 minutes.  You want to make sure the conditioner dissolves/melts.  And you're done!

Play around with the recipe.  Since I don't actually measure anything, these are rough estimates as to how much I actually use.  Hair detangler isn't exactly science.  So long as you know how to shake and pour you're good to go.

**I reused an old bottle of purchased hair detangler.  If you have one around, go for that.  If you have any empty spritz bottles (from body mists, hair spray etc) thoroughly clean them out and tada, you're recycling!  It doesn't matter what brand hair conditioner you use.  I use what we have on hand.  No point spending extra money.  Remember we are trying to save money.  Then again, feel free to go out and buy the fancy stuff.  You're going to be able to make several bottles of detangler from one bottle of conditioner.  So either way, you're still saving yourself money.

Did you try this?  What do you think of it?

*This is not an original idea obviously.  I've been making it myself for a while now, but just recently discovered there are tons and tons of other people blogging about it.*

Signed
Super Mom